Friday, March 9, 2007

Understanding the Beast

Just cause you live with a man for more than thirty years doesn’t mean you understand their thought processes or what they are pondering. They remain elusive, and mysterious beasts.

Sometimes I take note of Hub’s eccentricities, but more often than not I ignore them and they quickly pass. But this week he was not so easily ignored. Day after day, he kept saying to me, “Com’ on mom, let’s go cruising. Com’ on, Roberta, let’s crank up the car radio and go for a ride. Cruising, like we used to.”

I just turned my back on him and said, “I’m busy.” But he would not let up. Three days later he is still pestering me – “Come on, Roberta. Grab your coat. Let’s go cruising.”

By now I could see he was fixated and I was confused. Finally in exasperation after the umpteenth time that he asked me to go cruising, he snapped, “You’re so dull. You’ve lost all sense of romance.”

That confused me even more. What was the silly old fool talking about? I looked at him and said, “What is this all about? Are you suggesting you want to relive our teen years – maybe even park and listen to the radio.”

“Sure we could do that,” he said.

Now I’m beginning to feel pretty certain he’s fallen off the deep end. But I am also sick of the pestering so I finally get my coat and away we go. Motor humming, toons a-playin’ – fine music, very fine, fine enough to alleviate the chaffing of his incessant pestering for me to come cruising. And Hub is so happy – too happy – singing along with the radio.

So okay, that’s when I realized this was about the new stereo he had installed in the car. And man, did we need one. The old radio was nothing but static and a staccato of stuttering voices and alternate stations sharing the same radio dial. We’ve been listening to that crap for many years on the old radio. But still the intensity and urgency of his constant pestering made me think there was something more to this that I hadn’t zeroed in on. So they say, if you don’t know, just ask.

So, I say to Hub, “Could you just stop singing for a moment so I can ask you something? Obviously you wanted me to come cruising with you so I could listen to your new radio. But I can’t help thinking you had another reason in mind for crankin’ up the tunes and going cruising like we used to.”

“You’re bloody intuitive,” said Hub. “Certainly I had another reason. I wanted to go cruising so I could get back to practicing my singing.”

And immediately he ignored me and embedded himself in the romantic wailing of another song.


Joy Des Jardins said...

Well did his response confuse you even more Roberta? Did Hub need to get out in the car...on the road, to practice his singing? Does your company inspire him to belt out some beautiful notes he might not otherwise be capable of? Could this not be done at home? Maybe he needed the WHOLE ambiance of the car, the new stereo, the road...and you.

I think there comes a time when we have to give up trying to noodle out the meaning behind some of the quirky statements or behavior...and go with the flow...just like you did. But I ask you again....were you more confused than ever?

j said...

Geez...I thought he ws trying to lure you away for some snogging...

Eleanor said...

That's what I was thinking/hoping, too, J. :) Sorry it was just for an audience for his singing Roberta!

Matty said...

I think Hub's got it right. He just wanted to have some fun again, nothing like singing with the radio to banish the blues. I like that he's spontaneous like that. Did you's stop for a root beer?

Roberta S said...

joy, Hub picked the car to practice (singing, that is) because we never seem to play the radio in the house anymore. At least, that's what I thought but I like your 'ambiance' reasoning much better.

As far as confused -- suffice it to say I was more relieved than confused.

j, that's what I was beginning to think as well and that's what worried me. Sure way at our age to end up with pulled muscles, cramps, and needing the 'jaws of life' to extract us from the vehicle. So don't be sorry eleanor. I was quite relieved.

And matty, you are very wise. Yes, we did stop for a root beer. And yeh, when Hub's singing to the radio and making up his own lyrics which he always does, it is a reason for us both to laugh.

Matty said...

Oh Lord, that's funny, the jaws of life! Please......don't go my son says..too much information.....lmao!
Hub sounds like a terrific guy!

Roberta S said...

Thanks matty.