Friday, March 30, 2007

Heart-Breaking Joy

Today I’m a total mess. Blubbering like a baby and can’t stop. And Hub not much help because he is on the verge of the same kind of breakdown. So what spawned this thing?

This morning I saw a flick on the news of a young soldier and father returning from war and going to an Elementary School Classroom. I saw him walk into the doorway of that classroom. And I saw a small boy, suddenly seeing him, running to him, tears mixed with indescribable joy on his little face. I saw that small boy leap into his father’s arms and embrace him while weeping like a tiny puppy.

That’s what got me going. I wonder if anyone in the White House watched the news this morning. And if they did, I wonder if they were as struck to the core of their being as Hub and I were.

I wonder if one can be powerful, important, a celebrity of sorts, immersed in arrogance and self-preservation and still observe, share, and understand and appreciate the emotional passion in the reuniting of a small boy with a much beloved father.

I wish I could be more optimistic than I am but somehow I don’t think there’s any red puffy eyes in the oval office this morning, even though there are certainly red puffy eyes here. I’m pretty certain that right now, if I was in charge of a war, that what I saw this morning, would certainly have ripped my heart right out of my chest with as much pain and trauma as if it had been cut out with a butcher knife.

Most of us fully understand sadness, and fully understand joy, but when the two are blended into one crazy mix, we just don’t understand what we are feeling. So I’m left to just tell you what I saw but please don’t ask me to explain how it pleasured me and saddened me in one swift, cutting yet comforting, blow.

9 comments:

Busy Mom said...

I sobbed right here at my desk earlier. Why did I click that at work?!

I may start crying again here, now.

Pauline said...

I had the same reaction - that look on his face! And that wee voice saying Daddy...I will never understand the darker side of human beings, the one that promots and exults in war.

Pauline said...

that's "promotes..."

Matty said...

I'm glad I didn't see that...I don't know how I would carry on with that vision of that little boy and his dad. We will always have war, as long as we have pompous assholes. For them, it's an ego trip! There has to be a better way.

Dick said...

I share your confusion, Roberta. The passing of the years doesn't clarify for me the phenomenon of the politician's utter disengagement from those processes of empathy that signify most acutely our humanity. Had I seen that clip I'd have folded too. I can't deal with anything that concerns the suffering of children.

There is comfort in this: as long as we weep, we're not like them.

Joy Des Jardins said...

There are some red puffy eyes here too Roberta...just reading your post. Oh my heart! I haven't seen it, but I know it would leave me in one big blubbering heap. And...yes I agree; don't see any red puffy eyes in the oval office. Go ahead and cry Roberta...Cheers to our tears!

Roberta S said...

Hi busy mom, I hope you felt the tears were like refreshing rain, which tears so seldom are. And I hope after your morning weep, you were not disappointed to discover that I was going to again lead you down that path.

pauline, it's difficult to do but your comment gives all encouragement to fine joy in the special things in life -- the things that are most meaningful. But I have a nasty side to me. A side that wants to make war, rather than ignore, those that "promote and exult in war". Didn't mean to go poetic but you have that kind of influence on me.

matty, we know there is a better way. But no one will listen to us. :)

Loved your final comment Dick and yours too, joy. Makes me feel like though we weep, and it pains something inside, still we weep tears of great value.

Anne said...

I think we all had pretty much the same reaction. Heck, hard-core prison convicts likely blubbered like babies. Everyone but that psychotic git in the Whitehouse. I can almost him yelling, "Quick -- someone find out if that fella's a republican."

Roberta S said...

anne, I so totally agree. Never thought about the tears shed by hard-core prisoners but I expect you are right. And you're definitely right about the White House reaction.

Thanks for commenting.