Monday, September 10, 2007
Love on Demand – Part V (Conclusion)
Finding Sensibility
Discussions with a neighbor lady with a broken heart in a pre-arranged marriage have validated what I already believe – I cannot give love on demand. So how can I save my sinful soul without going down the path of a loveless and pre-arranged union with God?
With or without a love relationship with God, I can’t deny that I have always been awe-struck at nature’s perfection and at the creator of it. But despite that, I have not found a path to loving God. From the stories told to me by the lady down the road, I understand that it is impossible to give love on demand because that kind of love is too false to be soul-saving. Serving a God of truth by a brazen lie is so not right.
But my problem is even bigger than that. How can I make myself love someone who so often seems to turn deaf ears on my prayers? Yet, admittedly, at other times, responds at lightning speed with a wealth of blessings, quite unexpected?
It remains puzzling to me that somehow, though not until some time later, in all this storm-tossed sea of doubt, somewhere along the way, without conscious endeavor, my subconscious mind was coddled, and warmed, and seduced into a positive belief that told my conscious mind, “You have not pressed me or overrode my authority. You have not forced me with insubordination. And so now, it’s okay to believe. I’ll go along with it.”
But that is me, and so as I consider these things, I realize it is not fair for me to judge others. And it is also unfair for me to expect everyone to love God because it is the better thing to do. Or because I am sure he exists. Of course it isn’t fair. Not with love being a helpless condition over which we have no control.
It takes more than conscious willingness. It appears there are no conscious arguments or convictions good enough, or even strong enough, when it comes to love, to force the sub-conscious into agreement. Surely even the Job in the Old Testament, who endured so much sorrow, must have consciously wanted to reject God, but his sub-conscious mind exerted its own authority and would not let him.
And so even young couples who contemplate marriage, carefully taking into account all practical considerations, and faithfully attending marriage counseling, are in fact jumping into a pre-arranged marriage, if the sub-conscious mind objects. You see long courtships are not just an old-fashioned notion. They are necessary for feelings of love to be honest exchanges rather than superficial notions.
So, isn’t it silly for preachers to compare heaven to hell to force a kind of pre-arranged union? To demand that we find redemption through a pre-determined subset? And, in the same way that it is unfair for me to judge the atheist, or the agnostic, isn’t it equally silly for these same, whose subconscious mind is not yet ready for God-love to scoff at religion as being nothing more than evidence of human weakness and a keen imagination?
In conclusion, I think there will always be those who make a pretense of religion and God-love, but if they are honest with themselves, it seems to me that regardless of how hot hell burns, if the sub-conscious mind does not give in to such a notion and provide unanimous agreement and support, loving God is not possible until the soul eventually whispers to the head – “this is truth and it is time”.
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4 comments:
You ask: "And, in the same way that it is unfair for me to judge the atheist, or the agnostic, isn’t it equally silly for these same, whose subconscious mind is not yet ready for God-love to scoff at religion as being nothing more than evidence of human weakness and a keen imagination? "
I can't go along with your assumption that the atheist or agnostic is such because their subconscious is not ready for God-love. That's presupposing a God, which is what athiests and agnostics do not accept. Your posts often make me examine my own beliefs, Roberta - a good thing to do every so often. And I agree it's silly to demean another's beliefs simply because they are not our own. Our own weren't ours until we chose them to be. I so admire your ability to reason out your own beliefs here for us to consider.
pauline, I do get and appreciate the point you made about 'presupposing a God' for agnostics or atheists. That was rather smug of me and for that I apologize. Still, I try not to demean other's beliefs and on that we agree.
You don't know how often I write a post and then sit in the kitchen red-faced and quite uncomfortable about what I have just written. So I do appreciate that you give support to my thinking 'out loud' or 'in blog text'. And I think you understand I am not seeking converts, I am just wondering if others think about some of the crazy things I think about.
Belief is such a subjective thing, is it not? I can appreciate your struggle with things you've written but that is what makes blog reading so interesting - I can come here and read your thoughts and bounce them off mine and perhaps come to new realizations. It is that very self of yours, expressed so eloquently, that makes this blog good reading.
I've no doubt that even the strongest faith is questioned in times of despair and confusion. I've read it in scripture, in classics, in contemporary reality. It comes too as we lose loved ones and as we come closer to taking over the places of the generation of our parents.
This whole series was well thought-out asked questions that were not self-serving but stirred up the honesty among your readers to face their own questions along with you. Well done, and particularly, your closing quote as a possible answer.
susan @ spinning
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