Every mechanism has a dependency. Even a light bulb. The dependency is a source of power. People are no different. We have dependencies. And if we ignore those dependencies, we might as well attempt to vacuum stars from the sky with the shop vac. That’s how ridiculous it would be to attempt to have a happy heart and contented mind without being mindful of our own unique dependencies.
But throughout our lives, dependencies evolve and change. A simple example might be that an infant’s dependency is food and the comforting smell of his mother. Adolescent dependencies are friends and fashion. Teenage dependencies are love and romance. Family dependencies are good health and financial success. So you see as we travel through life, our dependencies change. Weaving, overlapping, sometimes being dismissed and supplanted by another. And when the dependencies of any one season are met we are happy and well satisfied.
And so that brings me to my current dependency. It is words. The unshakable confidence that I can create, settle, explore, resolve anything, with words. Words are the oil for the efficient function and satisfaction of my soul and body and mind. But as the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve, a ghastly realization hit me. That 2006 dependency on words suddenly rotated in to some other dependency.
I discovered at that particular moment when others were setting off fireworks that I had thoughts I couldn’t express in words. Profound thoughts. Thoughts with purpose, and mandate, and meaning that could not be expressed. I guess as we flipped to a New Year, at that very moment I graduated to another stage of dependency. A place where I felt emotions that were not in the dictionary. A collection in the mind of light-weight teasers and, at the same time, consequential ponderings. Thoughts of pleasure and pain. Love and friends. Mortality and immortality. But all of those thoughts suddenly outside any context that could be accomplished with words. And furthermore, they were thoughts that could not be mimed with interpretive dance (though God knows, I tried). Thoughts that could not be mimed through music (tried that too). Thoughts that couldn’t be expressed in rhyme, unsteady rhythm, or rap (I went there as well). Thoughts that couldn’t be painted (at least not inside the lines). I could no more wrap a solid in liquid than wrap those thoughts in words.
But I have just finished reading “DaVinci’s Code” and perhaps that is what has uncovered this ghastly truth. But I am undaunted. I’ll tell you my thoughts but circumstances force me to tell you in the secret cipher of cryptography.
This is what I was thinking on New Year’s Eve.
Good thing we understand the DNA that links us all together isn’t it?
Causeyouwerethinkingthesamething – Right?