Friday, January 7, 2011

Home Free! (part II)

Now some might wonder why I continue this whine. In seems quite unnecessary in the midst of a modern and sophisticated world with the fullness of understanding how to have and maintain ruddiness of body, soul, and oh yes, spirit as well.

Don’t we just hear it all the time? That if we eat the right foods, drink the right amount of water, run the right number of miles per day, stretch before exercising, love ourselves, and take time for ourselves, our spirit will be right on the blue dot. Exactly where our spirit is supposed to be.

Excuse me, but that is a lie. Though my body feels better after this kind of ritual, my spirit does not. My spirit does not thrive on nutritious food and a quota of exercise, and furthermore, my spirit is not insulated from woe by any watershed effect of these disciplined physical routines.

And the difference between my physical body requirements, and my emotional spirit requirements, is this. My body thrives on healthy nutrients without junk food. My spirit thrives on harmonious environments without junk conflict.

Now I’m not going to tell too much. Dumping it all will have me watering down this keyboard to the extent it most certainly will short out and permanently crater. I can only tell you that I have been separated from a precious someone I love, not by fate, but by stupid stuff that I fail to understand.

And no it is not Hub. Hub is still here.

Now in my search for some kind of comforting heal, I have thought of past states of crisis that were heartbreaking and how I fared through those trying times.

It was great when I was a child. If anything or anyone was not harmonious in their dealings with me, what did I do? I told on them. I told my mom, or dad, or the teacher. That fixed them. (smugness here)

And so I’m telling. I’m telling the one, possibly two, readers of this rant. But I know and they know that tattle-taling isn’t going to help me one iota. And so, the quest begins to find a new and better soul-salve for the rawness of my spirit.

NEXT POST: The search for healing.


Pauline said...

well, you can't ignore those feelings, you can't shake them out like an old rug, you can't harbor them. What's left? You have to sit with them, examine them, explore them and then - do the big thing, the only thing. Reach out. Tell the estranged one how you're feeling and that you are uncomfortable enough to reach out and try to make things better and how can that be achieved? Good luck, my friend. Some breaches can be healed. Some simply scab over. I hope you find a way to heal this one.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I've just caught up with these last two posts Roberta. I agree with Pauline. I think you need to tell the person how you're feeling...uncomfortable as it may be. If this is something that's eating away at you and making you unhappy, it's worth the try. I've always found sincerity and truth heal a lot of things. Good luck sweetie...

Roberta S said...

Thank you so much, Pauline, for letting me know you are following along and giving me worthwhile fodder for thought. Much appreciated.

Roberta S said...

Thank you Joy. Your comment is much appreciated and hope you will continue to peruse this situation that at present seems so dire.