Saturday, October 30, 2010

Boogeymen in the Closet, Poltergeists Under the Bed

Today I must review my Halloween candy situation and get bags ready for the tricksters and treaters that will be arriving at my door tomorrow night.

Naïve, I am. Long ago I dismissed the fanciful thoughts of boogeymen in the closet and poltergeists under the bed, but wait, not so fast. They were real and they were there when I was a child and they still are.

I know that for a fact because the boogeymen in the closet are stealthily opening boxes of chocolate bars, and mini bags of chips and cheezies, like children do with Christmas gifts. Small discrete tears and carefully cracked seams that make the damage as close to invisible as possible. But big enough that stealthy hands have extracted a large number of treats.

With the closet door tightly shut, who, what else could it be — except boogeymen in the closet.

But that’s not the all of it. While the boogeymen are busily depleting my stash of Halloween treats in the closet, the poltergeists under the bed are chanting whispered spells that have Hub in a restless and wakeful state of terror interrupted by four a.m. screamer nightmares (and sometimes stomach pains) for the past week.

Oh God, I hate this. It’s not enough that Hub is being tormented at night in such a merciless way, but now I’m stuck with having to make the dreaded trip to town for more treats!


joared said...

Hm-m-m! About those disappearing treats...and Hub...Hm-m-m. Do you walk in your sleep???

Joy Des Jardins said...

Hmmm, apparently I have the same boogeymen and poltergeists rummaging through my goodies too Roberta; but since I'm the ONLY one here, it's hard to catch these little 'goodie grabbers.' I'm afraid they may be around for a while longer since I have quite a bit of leftover candy from Halloween. And then of course, there's Christmas and all the goodies that I have planned for that...oh dear, I may never get rid of them. My best to you and Hub...and his painful stomach. It seems a lot of that is going around right now. Hugs, Joy

Roberta S said...

Hi joared. I'm fairly certain I don't walk in my sleep. I'm inclined to think the theivery part of these stealthy acts go on when I am downstairs in the laundry room or out for a jog and Hub is alone in the house. Unfortunately no point in asking Hub if he heard anything untoward coming from the closet -- he's too hard of hearing to notice noisy munching or the rattle of cellophane bags in the closet.

Roberta S said...

Joy, this is a problem. With only ONE of you to track down the candy robbers, you have little hope of catching her/him/them.

Still 'tis comforting to know my home is not the only home they've chosen to invade.

Have a good day, Joy, and don't forget to brush your teeth-- morning, noon, and night.

Pauline said...

Poltergeists can get tummy aches from too much candy... ;)

Roberta S said...

Guess not, Pauline, cause the only one groaning around here is Hub. (chuckle)